Friday, December 03, 2004

elevator up

Been a busy few days--

Anyway here are a slim pickin' of tidbits for the culture club burning in your little finger tips:

Hot Hot Heat has announced their NEW ALBUM, titled "Elevator" will be out some time in April. This will be their first album on Warner Brothers (bah), and will hopefully cover the same dance-able twitch rock as their previous gems. Here is an early tracklisting:

Running Out of Time
Island of the Honest Man
Dirty Mouth
You Owe Me an IOU
No Jokes - Fact
Goodnight, Goodnight
Middle of Nowhere
Pickin' It Up
Ladies and Gentlemen
Elevator
Shame on You
Soldier in a Box
Jingle Jangle

"CLOSER" - the new star crossed lovers film from helmer Mike Nichols hits theater today. Though Natalie Portman will not appear nude like the rumor claimed last year, I will still surely catch this one this weeked. Hey, Rotten Tomatoes approves.

Nirvana's Krist Novoselic is pulling a TRISHELLE and auctioning his time off on eBay. My guess is some crazy alt.rock obsessed mid 90s douche will actually do this. Wait, I just might also. Fuck.

Word from Uncle Grambois that Tara Reid and Kid Rock were on hand at Ann Arbor's own Yost Ice Arena last night for a chairty hockey event. This just means more now that we have all seen Tara's grossly obtuse nipple. 'Atta boy Federov. Jeez what a whore she is. Come to think of it, why didn't she show up Skeeper's last night?

Finally, Alex + Aaron awed Andover with a short set Thursday night. Look to Autumnattic for more updates.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

jeliquette

I would like to begin today with a spur of the moment insight on what I may hereby refer to as "Jeliquette." We have recently become the proud recipients of a cashew-container full of colorfully delicious Jelly Belly jellybeans. Clearly, every inquisutive little finger that graces the insides of this container are after one of their favorite flavors of jelly bean [be it tutti frutti, watermelon, hot orange, jalapeño, buttered popcorn, etc.]. I know it is important to get the absolute best flavor every time you dip your hand in the container for more sugary sweetness, but this, of course, leads to poor Jeliquette. Here are a few rules that Buddy Rube came up with to remedy this painfully peevish situation. To avoid roommates who "HUNT AND PECK" [CLASS: HUNTEROUS slash PECKEROUS], who dirty the container and narrow the selection of jelly beans for the rest of the housemates, make it known that hunting and pecking is strictly prohibited. Instead, try a nice little "AIM" [CLASS: AIMEROUS COURTEOUS] and grab a few at a time. Do not hunt and peck for jelly beans. That is just bad. It narrows the selection and leaves only ugly colors for the polite people who aim for their jelly satisfaction. Now, go choose CAREFULLY and mind your Jeliquette.

Though I am hesitant of biopics, Autumnattic highly recommends Liam Neeson's "Kinsey". It's a great look at some of the most liberal and sexually obsessed researchers the world of science has ever seen. Often times grotesque, mark this as the better nemesis of "Ray".

Spiderman 2 swung into Meijer last night @ midnight. For $14.99, this summer spectacular was a must-buy (even at 1:30 am last night)

CRAZY RUMOR DAY:

1) New Coldplay album tentatively set for March, 2005.

2) Coachella 2005 rumored lineup (RUMORS, people, but WOW) [via ambitious-outsiders]

APRIL 30TH

DAVID BOWIE / NINE INCH NAILS / PJ HARVEY / INTERPOL / THE FAINT / FRANZ FERDINAND / THE POLYPHONIC SPREE / BOARDS OF CANADA / TV ON THE RADIO / YEAH YEAH YEAHS / SQUAREPUSHER / CLINIC / FRENCH KICKS / SECRET MACHINES / PHOENIX / BEEP BEEP / DOGS DIE IN HOT CARS / DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979 / THE HELIO SEQUENCE

MAY 1ST

R.E.M. / TEARS FOR FEARS / WILCO / MODEST MOUSE / BRIGHT EYES / JIMMY EAT WORLD / MOS DEF / BADLY DRAWN BOY / THE STREETS / SPOON / CAKE / THE POSTAL SERVICE / THE SHINS / SLEATER-KINNEY / RILO KILEY / RADIO 4 / DOVES / IRON AND WINE / THE ARCADE FIRE / MOVING UNITS

To go along with their appearance on the O.C. on Thursday [MEH], the Killers perform on Conan tonight.

Is it me, or does Paris' wig/new color make her look strikingly like Stifler's mom with brown hair?

Monday, November 29, 2004

i will eat leftovers all week! i'm rich!

Great SCOT! Franz Ferdinand bassist Bob Hardy (hee,hee) has been hospitalized in the highly efficient country of JAPAN. The skinnies had to play acoustic to raving Japanese people, who may or may not have been similar to those Banality referred to as Peelander-Z (who opened for Electric 6 in Detroit last week). As they said, "I rove Franz Ferdirand, they lock!"

Rilo Kiley's amazingly honest-voiced sexpot Jenny Lewis is goin' SOLO. Not really, but she is in the process of recording a solo album, due summer '05, in time for R K to play the highly anticipated Coachella 2005. Jenny, please make this worthwhile and don't go all Gwen Stefani on us (Love, Angel, Music, Baby, what the fuck?)

Julia Roberts has given birth to twins. All I really have to say about that is how inconsiderately planned the conception with Danny Moder was, because they had to cover her growing belly in all of her Ocean's 12 scenes. That is R-U-D-E, Jules. Anywho, hopefully Ocean's 12 will not be as bad as the trailers make it out to be.

READY? SIMULTANEOUS LAUGH! "Alexander" only made $13.4 million opening weekend. Enough said-Brad Pitt sells better than Colin "I finally scored with Paris Hilton" Farrell in the dress and sandals, though I hear Rosario Dawson appears naked in one scene. She was one of the more polite PUNK'D victims, don't you think?

This may be old news, but crikey, somebody fly me to the UK for the premiere of the SMITHS inspired musical, featuring over 20 songs from their catalog. As reported, mayhem will ensue as crazy Brits try to grab the star's crotch and drag themselves shamelessly onstage. Wait, aren't theatergoers better behaved than Moz-heads? We'll see!

I have begun the doosy of an adventure that so many Americans began last week after BLACK FRIDAY. 1 episode of Seinfeld per day, until seasons 1-3 have been consumed. It's ambitious, but dammit, I will PERSERVERE.

If you have not seen "A Stoop On Orchard Street"-- Go SOON, BITCHES! Nothin' like the 1910's (yeah, NEWSIES!)

Thursday, December 2nd, 2004: Alex & Aaron bring live sounds to the Andover Battle of The Bands @ 7 pm. Make the commute, as Alex sings originals and Aaron tries to figure out why their is a microphone inside Alex's guitar, and looks very funny in the process.