Thursday, November 04, 2004

he's not dead, oc readies US takeover

[UPDATE] The OC premiere has officially came and went, and here is an autumnattic up to date review: Without an overly shmaltzy introduction recapping last season, we were welcomed into the under-rennovation home of the Cohens. To sum things up, Seth is still gone, Kirsten is still very upset, Sandy is taking it lightly, Ryan is working construction and seemingly unhappy with Theresa, she fakes a miscarriage to allow Ryan to, yep, come back with Seth to Newport. Summer still wants Seth, but is trying too many head games to rid herself of his London Calling vinyl and Mr. Oates toys. Read--this may be over, but will continue to fool us all season. A stereotypical "hot" gardener has taken up background shots of Marissa, Julie and Caleb's mansion, leading us to believe she will indeed be hooking up with him very shortly. BUT not before getting re-sentimentalized (you like that word?) with Ryan. Caleb is under some sort of investigation and Haylie and Jimmy are going strong. Overall impression--mediocre episode but good job at setting up the structure of the season. Slow moving, little wit and more sap, yet it still seems like everything will be okay. I am under the esteemed impression that we are in store for a hip new rock club with performances by [gasp] the Killers, the Walkmen and the Thrills. JOY! More overexposing of solid new bands for the masses. Oh well, count me in on the gimmicks, because regardless of a slow start, ya'll know the OC is just heating up.
 

There are a variety of hot picks happening in the entertainment world today. Your favorite west coast guilty pleasure the OC begins season #2 tonight at 8. Here are some of the new characters you might be introduced to. All beautiful, all fit to be a perfect addition to the superficially perfect world with a questionable mix of indie rock.


Adding to this excitement, dot com backslash spoilers, one of Autumnattic's most treasured and anticipated trailers of the year, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, premieres this afternoon on the internet, later on tonight on Access Hollywood, and tomorrow in front of The Incredibles. This is NOT, I repeat, NOT, the movie itself. This is only the short teaser trailer that really nobody in their right mind should care about. Star Wars nerds across the WORLD, mind you, are virtually shaking in their boots for what is sure to be a highly water-coolered minute and a half.

Snow Patrol is going to open for u2 on their 2005 World Tour!

Interesting faux-law suit of the day: The Postal Service, yes, the indie darling super collaborators Jimmy and Ben, have settled a discrepancy with the real United States Postal Service. Last year, the USPS expressed distaste in the usage of the electronica duo's band name. In an everybody is kind of happy resolution, the USPS may feature some P S in their television ads, and you may see a copy of their debut LP, Give Up, on the shelf of your local post office. Lastly and most interestingly, the duo has been tapped to play at a USPS annual conference. Lucky-ass executives! Thanks to Pitchfork for the tip.

How can I continue today's post without word on the ailing condition of Palestinian leader, Yasser Arafat.. Amidst claims of his death, a French military spokesman at the hospital in which he lays comatose commented: "Arafat is not dead." Indeed, very informative news on his condition. If death ensues, two questions pop into my mind: who will be his successor and lead in attempts at peace with Israel, and will he crap his pants upon dying? I hear this is the new trend.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

concession stands

As I watched Bush's victory speech today in American Film Comedy, we were given a choice to watch either our fearless leader stutter and stumble, or video clips for the day's lesson, which was the influence of the Three Stooges. Irony, you say? Nah. Regardless, can Ohio do anything right? I'm thinking it's seriously not in the cards. Those upset about the election results will simply have to stop whining sooner or later, and that includes myself. But honestly, I mean, it's not like the country is going to come to a crashing halt, people. If that were to happen, it may as well have been last night as we sat poised in front of the television watching older men with undeniable coiffs preach different electoral vote counts on every channel. In a wrap around butt grab of a move, Senator Kerry has conceded and Bush will reign for another four years. Even with two television screens and a real time computer, my colleagues and I were totally confused as to who had the right count. Damn you, Tucker and CNN. 'Twas a fight worth remembering, and though I am saddened by the Kerry campaign loss, I am not going to sit and pout about it for days like the other liberal weenies here in Ann Arbor. The only thing to do besides move to Canada with the diminuitive Avril and the radical Arcade Fire is to trust Bush's linguistics and continue to hope he does what is right.

Inevitable law suit of the day: R. Kelly is apparently suing tourmate and collaborator Jay-Z for a hefty $70 million dollars. Tension was rising on their 'Unfinished Business' Tour, with Kelly claiming that Jay-Z was taking all of his urinating limelight. The supposedly retired Jay just released a chart topping album of material with Kelly, and the tour was in full swing when it was nixed before the Madison Square Garden gig earlier this week. Such a pity--perhaps the Jay-Z camp can reap the profits of "Fade To Black," which his theater's trans-continent this Friday.

stevO515 (11:32:56 PM): Hey, if there's a draft, wanna move to Switzerland with me?
stevO515 (11:33:14 PM): I'm putting together a group, maybe we can get cheaper plan tickets or something
k A c Z 6 4 (11:33:25 PM): sure, we can snowboard and speak german right
k A c Z 6 4 (11:33:30 PM): there will be no draft
stevO515 (11:33:34 PM): yeah, and eat chocolate
stevO515 (11:33:54 PM): well, I kind of hope there is, so I can move to switzerland and have a reason



Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Polling Places, Fuck Yeah!

I am wearing a sticker that states simply: I Voted. It felt really good. The line was a paltry hour and a half. There were volunteers playing Trivial Pursuit with boredom-stricken voters in line. There was an aura of true patriotism. The "no candidate endorsement" law within 100 feet of the polling areas was certainly novel. After months of careful consideration, Autumnattic endorses Senator John F. Kerry, and looks forward to a night of sitting in front of the television. So go take those candidate signs off your lawns and stickers off your cars, because you know they will not be nearly as influential or even meaningful in about a week. Congratulations, America, on surviving months of grueling, cutthroat, asskissing douche vs. turd sandwich campaigning.

Not surprisingly those bad boy UKsters the Libertines are gonna take a much needed break. Apparently, they cannot survive on the road without heroine-friendly front man Pete Doherty. They will continue gigging until the end of December. Share your sobs here. Ain't nothing like some more press for the Kings of Leon to milk and meld into their own stories.

Monday, November 01, 2004

"Elevate Me Later"

That was the tentative title to this supremely overdue endeavor of cultural critique.
Unfortunately, Pavement's strangely quirky and familiar city song was unavailable as a way to recognize my additions to the world of friendly ex-friendster bloggers. Regardless, the attic is where I sit, holed off to the majority of Ann Arbor. I will not cease to provide insight from this cultural vaccum of a third floor. Do stay tuned, you may find it beneficial to your crooked little fingers to read what this will have to offer. Welcome to Autumnattic.