make plans early + lohan has freckles/no fez

Hey all you smart-ass Daily Show fans, listen up. Jon Stewart, the man who would have won the election himself if it were up to twenty-something college stoners and snooty both-wing haters, is coming to the Detroit Opera House on April 2, 2005. Granted that is five months away, it's never too early to score tickets to what is sure to be a night of humorous political and cultural satire. You know I'll be there, so maybe we can meet up and, like, have a Jon Stewart tailgate. Uh, nevermind.

Who remembers "Wet Hot American Summer"? The writers/director/star of the summer camp cult smash will be in Ann Arbor tonight as the "Stella Comedy Show." Autumnattic and Banality's Steven M. Zacks highly recommend their off-kilter-not-really-sketch-or-stand up routine. There are two shows, 7 and 10, so pick one and get there on time. I would be there, had I not made previous plans to rock with the married-couple Mates of State at the Magic Stick.

One might assume the University of Michigan has intelligent students. To counter this, please read today's "Letter To the Editor" excerpt from the Daily. Drop jaw in awe.

Michael Moore has announced plans for a sequel to "Farenheit 9/11". It will be out in time for the 2008 election, so he can stop Bush--hey wait a minute, he can't run again anyway. C'mon, Michael, go back to more meaningful films like poverty in Flint or something.

The Who have possibly announced plans for their first album in 23 years . Now that Pete's sort of lived out his total perv stature, he can make a record and make the fictional characters on "Freaks & Geeks" pee in their pants.

Finally, here's to hoping for an Us Weekly cover story of the supposed breakup of Lohan and Fez. Say it ain't so.